7 Month Update and Family Goals

Always has his tongue out right now! 

The day Ollie turned 7 months old…. Well, I was exhausted! He had not been sleeping well at all! I uploaded his 7-month photo with a text message to my mom as the description… oh dear… and when I tried to fix it the entire 7-month update went away. I then threw my phone across the room and quit for the day! :) Now that we have “caught up” on some sleep I will try and recap the last month and our adventures with our crazy, growing boy!

I am so in love with this age. He is becoming so content, very happy, and super active. I think now that he is really mobile, it has helped him become a happier baby. He does his version of a crawl (kind of like an army crawl) all around the house now. Nothing and no where is safe from a mobile baby! Oh, and if you think your floors are clean put a baby in a white onsie to roam the house… you’ll quickly find they are not clean. He is also doing planks and push ups? Who knows… I think he is trying to get buff for the ladies!

He tries to talk all the time. Today in church when the pastor would speak, Ollie would respond…. Oh dear… and he is into squealing super loud right now as well….

He does sign language with us sometimes. His favorite is “all done” and will a lot of times do it will us after dinner. We sign a lot so hopefully it pays off in a few months!

He eats like a grown man. I don’t think he would ever stop eating if it was up to him. He hasn’t refused a single food I have given him. It’s pretty awesome. I hope it is always like this! Fingers crossed.

He loves being outside still, going to the park and on walks. Sometimes we just go sit outside with the dogs and Ollie is perfectly content.

He loves Remi so so much. He also likes Remi’s dog bones…. No, I don’t want to talk about it… gross!

This month has flown by, every month I love more then the last and I didn’t even know that was possible. Seriously, being a mom is surprisingly the best job ever. I would be perfectly content doing this forever. It is such a blessing!

As a family this month, we have decided to work towards a few different goals. The first one is not saying “No” to Ollie as much. (Don’t freak out people, I am not talking about letting him do what ever) Now that he is mobile I already feel like that mom that walks around saying, “no, no, no, no, no” We are just trying to use more positive reinforcement instead of just saying no a lot. Like saying, lets do this instead of that. Stuff like that. It’s our job to create a safe environment for him to play and we shouldn’t have to say no to EVERYTHING. Plus, we want him to know when we do say no, we really mean it and not just ignore us because we say it too much. But, oh man, after making this decision to be more conscientious about when we say it, I swear we say it more! Lol! Oh well, it’s a goal, we wont be perfect.

Kombucha anyone?!

Our other goal is reducing media intake. During the day when it’s just Ollie and I, we don’t have the TV on. He just gets so sucked into it, and stops playing. So, in our home, while Ollie is awake we try and not have the TV on. Of course there will be exceptions, it’s just something we are working towards. Also, reducing when we have our phones out. We live in a world of constant media intake and it can impact relationships negatively. Ever try to talk to some one and they are just staring at their phone? It really sucks. I don’t want Ollie to think my phone is more important then him. I have been trying to only be on my phone when he is asleep. When he is awake I just think my children deserve my undivided attention. So, I leave my phone in the other room and go and play. Evenings when Dakota gets home we both try and have our phones put up so that it is family time. No TV, No Phones, just playing with baby and dinner as a family time. This time in life is so short! I don’t want to miss it because I am checking my facebook feed! I am also not going to remove myself from social media either. We have family and friends all over the US and I love staying in touch with them! These tools can be so great, and such a positive things! Once again, we are just trying to be conscientious about it!

So, those are our goals! Wish us luck! I think these little changes will have a positive influence on us!

Have a great week everyone! <3

Closed Doors: Hearing the Yes in the No.

Door after door has been shut for me. Job after job isn’t working out. I apply for something and boom position already filled… blah blah. Always something. Not a big something, just a little something. I expanded the job search to just something part time. I think that would be an easier adjustment for Ollie and I anyways. Nothing yet. But, ya know, I am starting to think these aren’t closed doors.

I think it’s a wide-open one.

A release.

An opportunity.

It’s the lord’s way of saying, “raise your baby”.

I would feel a sense of loss when getting calls about full time job positions, but would push on for the sake of our family…..For our need of health insurance, for our desire to live debt free. Yet, a sense of loss for leaving my baby….

Then they wouldn’t work out.

And that would suck. I would beat myself up. Always hearing that voice saying “your just not good enough”.

Yet the Lord saying, “you are who I say you are.”

Hearing no, over and over, is just hard. Even if its nothing you DO. It's no ones fault the position was already full…. Yet, still..... Super discouraging. 

I think the Lord is telling me something. Showing me to stop looking, because he has the perfect job for me right now.

My worth is not based upon how much I make, it’s not a dollar amount.

Yet, when you work to get a degree that’s what you’re working towards. Let's be honest. You are working towards a dollar amount.

So, I am changing my mind set. My life won't revolve around my next step or finding THE job. I am just going to live. 

I will raise my son, that’s my JOB right now! (But hey, if I’m staying home, lets just have a herd of children, just saying) 

Sometimes closed doors aren’t what you think. I truly believe the Lord was opening a door I didn’t want to accept. I find JOY in being with my son . Staying home is a BLESSING. I’ll keep searching for part time jobs. I still look a couple times a week. But I will NOT feel discouraged by the no’s.... Because that NO is the YES to my life right now. I am staying open to finding something but not beating myself up for the life the Lord is telling me to live right now. 

I am going to enjoy this summer with my babe. What a BLESSING. I can go to the pool with him, library story time, playdates…. Oh man, I am excited! This is going to be the BEST summer EVER!

Take heart friends, stopping hearing No, and hear the Lord saying YES to something. I promise, there is a yes in the no! 

I am a Germaphobe.....

Germs have been on muh mind and Its time for me to confess…..The first step is admitting you have a problem...

I have never met someone like me. After you read this you will probably agree, that’s a good thing.

I feel like I can see germs. Crawling around on every hard surface, public bathrooms, door handles, credit card machines (THE WORST), strangers….

Sometimes, I feel like I am losing it.

During summer/spring months my craziness is pretty much tucked away, and than fall/winter hits and BAM its back. The dreaded Flu season.....When I touch something in public I am convinced it has the influenza on it. I treat everyone and everything as if they are infected. I have to resist the urge to run and wash my hands every few minuets so strangers don’t think I have completely lost it.

After being in public, I come home and go straight to washing my hands, anything I touch before that point does get bleached. Sorry… When my husband returns home from work he must wash the influenza off of his hands because I am certain he has been exposed...

I. Have. A. Problem.

Crazy people don’t know they are crazy though, right?

Then I had Ollie, and I feel like my germ seeing super power got heightened. Oh dear….. I see him put things in his mouth… and it kills me. My insides twist and turn as I refuse to give into the urge to swipe that dirty little item clear across the room. "Don’t be a helicopter mom." "Don’t be a helicopter mom." "Don’t be a helicopter mom". I repeat and repeat in my head.

It’s GOOD for him to crawling around and getting exposed to things, I can’t protect him from EVERYTHING. Logic, right?! Yet, it doesn’t keep my heart from exploding every time he grabs a cell phone and puts it in his mouth.

When’s the last time you cleaned your phone?!?! Hmmm?? Hmmm?? Exactly. That’s what I thought.

Things like kids play places seem like immanent death to me. (How are these still legal?! I must start a petition soon…) I am 100% sure there is some incurable disease lurking in that ball pit.

There should be support groups for people like this.

My husband says I need therapy. I think I agree.

Here’s to hoping my newly crawling baby breaks this obsessive behavior in me, and that I don’t create a mini germaphobe. Poor kid.

Any recovering germaphobes out there?! 

And I will leave you with a great song that sums up my weirdness. Click the link and listen if you want to laugh :)

https://soundcloud.com/bobby-bones/wash-your-hands-the-raging

6 Months Old: We are sleeping again! Wahoo!

(These are the kind of photos I have to go through to get a good one...LOL) 

My little baby is half a year old! Oh my… I don’t even….

He is my super active, lovable, ornery, silly boy. He loves using me a jungle gym, rolling across the room, scooting to toys, laughing at jokes, eating big boy food, playing with the dogs, and being outside.

We started solids a little before 6 months, which was a really hard decision to make! We really wanted him to be EBF for as long as possible. But, talking with lots of friends, family, and health professionals, they all agreed he seemed more then ready. We started about a week and half ago and he LOVES it. The first day he couldn’t get enough. He would cry when the food was gone and lick the tray. I think we made a good choice. We decided to listen to our baby, instead of being so strict with the 6-month rule. Our chiro explained how every child develops differently and her boy did the same thing. Food is just for fun for the first year, and he is having fun. It’s a win-win and we feel good about it. We did skip the baby “cereal”… and will be skipping all sugar and grains for at least a year. Nutrition is super important to us, and we are only giving him a few select foods at this time but it’s great that he is loving it.  

A great thing about these last few weeks is that we are SLEEPING!!! WAHOO! Like seriously this changes everything. I feel like I have so much energy. I am able to work out more now and not feel like I am going to fall asleep when we do floor exercises. I feel so much better and Ollie seems happier with more sleep! It’s a great improvement. The four-month sleep regression is a doozy. Just when you feel like you have a routine, BAM, its gone. Its like starting from scratch…. But worse. So much worse. When it passes though, its like the sun coming out after a long blizzard.

Can you tell I am a little excited about sleep?!

And I will add we changed nothing about our bedtime routine the whole time, I am glad we stayed consistent. Sometimes they regress, I’m glad we kept with our same routine and now its better! The whole regression we kept feeling like we were doing something wrong, but then it passed. Now we know for the next regression!

With him sleeping better though, he has moved his bedtime up AGAIN! We are now at a 6pm bedtime…

Around 6 months was always one of my favorites with my siblings. Still baby like, but can understand more things, are stable and fun to play with. I am loving this age with Ollie as well!

Along with the development of “understanding” more and being more “mobile” has caused him to start throwing baby fits. Oh dear… He has been teething, so been on edge as it is… one day we threw fit after fit about things like:

I wont allow him to chew on the curtains.

He got stuck under the rocking chair after moving all around the room, so I got him unstuck….* cue melt down*

He can’t eat my phone.

We are eating a snack without him….

His toy fell.

He can’t fit all the big boy food in his mouth at once.

The food is now gone.

His daddy left for work.

I could go on… lol…. This kid!

Job Update:

Long story short: The job didn’t work out. It was a God thing. I am completely at peace with it. I am now looking at going to Grad school. I am praying everyday for direction!

Happy Monday ya’ll! Spring is on its way! 

Little Update on O

Ollie is 5 ½ months old! He is seriously getting big WAY too fast. His new tricks are:

1. He can drink from a straw now, but prefers just to blow bubbles in his cup. He kept grabbing my cup with a straw and trying to figure it out. We finally got him his own cup to play with. He loves it! He doesn't really drink anything, it is more of game to him.

2. He can sit up for a few seconds on his own.

3. He still loves to roll all around the room, trying to find the tags to play with on his mat. We really do have toys, he just prefers tags…

4. He is wearing some 12-month clothes now.

5. He hates sleeping.

He is definitely not a little baby anymore. He loves exploring new things, and it's fun to watch him just “get” things. I always give him kisses on the cheek, and he laughs and laughs. A little game we have played for awhile. A couple weeks ago he stopped, looked at me, grabbed my face and did it back. It was so sweet. He loves giving “kisses” and hugs. His “kisses” are more like slobber smooshing around your face, but it’s the thought that counts and super endearing. 

Sleep sucks right now. Around 4 months he regressed. Huge. Big time. We are talking, way worse then his newborn sleeping. I swear. We have nights he is up 6-7 times, when he used to get up once.  He can be up every hour to two hours. It’s tough man. For a kid that refuses to nap very much, we at least had nighttime. All sleep is a battle at this point. We are just sticking to our routine, trying every little thing to help him sleep better…. He will nap in 20-30 increments but only in my arms. We are trying to work towards napping in his crib but its been another battle we have not yet won. Want an example? Yesterday we had an hour of screaming because we were so tired and refused a nap, we finally fell asleep and slept for 6 min..... :|   Our home is definitely in zombie mode. 

We visited his chiropractor a few days ago and she adjusted him.... we are trying some of her suggestions. I tell you we are so desperate for a good nights sleep and less crying! Sleep time=screaming. We have tried every single suggestion, sleep theory, book, routine, and prayer out there. This is just where we are at right now. I’ll tell you, its completely defeating to not be able to put your 5 month old to sleep. We have been at this long enough you think we would “get” it. We feel like complete idiots to be honest. It's super annoying when people just say, well if he is fed, and has a clean diaper, and you watch for sleepy signs, he will sleep. False. You obviously have never had a kid who hates sleep. It doesn't matter how early we start trying to get him to sleep, he fights it until he is over tired..... grrrrr. 

He really is the sweetest when he finally sleeps! He is SOOOO happy once we get passed the fight!

Then snow just dumped over Wichita, which does not help a sleep deprived momma! We need spring, desperately for the sanity of our home :) 

Anyways, enough about our lack of sleep….This too shall pass. A little job update for those that care:

I have applied, passed the first test, turned in round 2 of paper work, and they are in the process of doing my background check! Prayers that after I pass the background they want to give me my first interview! God willing.

So, today we are taking my mommas advice; Turning on praise music and we dance. O seems to find it funny, and it’s a good workout. Have a good day readers, enjoy being bunkered in a little bit longer in all this snow. Enjoy an extra cup of coffee or tea…. It’s called for on snow days. <3 

No Absolutes: Journey to Humility

I remember being a little teeny bopper, leading my own gender equality revolt in my bedroom, playing outside only if it was raining and there was mud, despising everything that was expected of me. Normal statements would be:

“I will NEVER get married. Who needs a man anyways?! I take care of myself, plus there are animals to keep me company.”

“I will NEVER have kids.”

“If I have kids, I will NEVER stay at home. EVER”

“A career will be my priority, not a family”

I remember a time my dad was having a “guys” night with some of my cousins at a baseball game, (I am like the only girl cousin) I cried and screamed how unfair it was that events like this were divided by gender and if I wanted to go I should be able to go! I shouldn’t be excluded because of my gender! Then I stormed to the bathroom and cried. Great way to prove a feminist point, get real emotional. (sarcasm) FYI. My dad let me go….

I don’t know what it is about my parents that they raised two very strong, independent, gender equality-seeking women. They are normal people. My mom stayed home, my dad worked. They never taught us this stuff. It was authentically engrained in me. I feel bad for them.

Life taught me many lessons along the way. One of the most humbling experiences came when I was 11. I experienced the feeling of true loss for the first time. Over and over again. I remember this shaking me to the core, changing my perspective, realizing the lack of control I had for my life, and teaching me nothing is permanent.

Then life began happening, I met a boy when I was 14 that I would marry right after high school. (Against the advice of many)

That “absolutely never EVER happening” was gone. I got married.

Then I found myself in the final semester of college, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, at my dream internship, on the fast track to the career I desired. Yet, I found myself on the bathroom floor, throwing up continuously from morning sickness.

That “absolutely never EVER happening” was gone. I was pregnant.

Then I found myself graduating college, pregnant, no job prospects (who wants to hire a prego?!) I was home. I was still. The lord forced me to just be still in his presence. I was learning I am a pawn in his plan. My sweet baby boy was born and I was a stay at home mom.

That “absolutely never EVER happening” was gone. I was a stay at home mom.

I now find myself looking and applying for jobs, and praying no mater what job I get, I will keep my family first.

That “absolutely never EVER happening” is leaving. My family will be my priority, not my job.

I sit here snuggling my 4 month old, and tears roll down my face thinking about the day I won’t wake up to his face every morning. The day I will spend more time at work then home. Parenting blogs say the most important gift you can give a child is time, and I know that will be rare in the career I am going into.

I look back at my “never, evers” and wonder what I was fighting so hard against. My “never evers” have turned into the biggest blessings of my life. Before Oliver was born I was mourning over not being able to jump into the work force and now I am mourning the opposite.

I used to wonder why mom's didn’t work, why they stayed at home. I see that now. The Lord obviously has different plans for me, but I get it. I get why mom’s stay at home.

This experience has opened my eyes to both worlds. I see the pain and hardships of staying at home and the pains and hardships of working outside the home. I get it. I want to be there for Oliver’s first steps, first words, watch him change everyday. I want to just be able to be there. That is my prayer for this new stage of life. That I will be present when I am home. That means finding balance in the unknown. That means balancing what I foresee as working nights, holidays, and weekends. Balancing a stressful career and raising babies. It’s possible, I know. It’s scary though.

The Lord is using this experience to refine me though, change my heart and strengthen my family.  Every “never ever” that was broken was a humbling, beautiful experience that taught me life happens. The Lord is in charge of my life. My future is already mapped out. He knows my every step along the way. I can’t live in fear of this change. The Lords plans never fail.  My tattoo on my wrist reminds me his plans are to prosper not to harm.

I still wear my heart on my sleeve, I am still probably too opinionated, I still have absolutes. This is my journey to humility. The Lord is teaching me though; there are no absolutes, except the Lord. He will absolutely always be in control and be present.

I ask for prayer as I’m going through the application processes, that the Lord will open doors or SLAM others. That interviewers will find favor to my application even though hundreds others are applying. Pray I listen to the Lords will.

Any mommas that balance work, school, and parenting etc. that want to give advice on how they balance everything, that would be amazing!

Love you all. Have a great week.

What O is doing and Crying it Out

(Mrs. Monkey and her baby in hand ;) )

Oliver is growing like a weed right now. It’s so great to watch. All of his clothes are getting tight and I feel like we just moved up a size! This is such a great “problem” to have. He is fun, laughs, screams, giggles, mimics and makes faces. He is rolling everywhere now. Some days he refuses to stay still and just rolls until something stops him. He is getting so strong and starting to love his Johnny Jump Up.

Our favorite toys this week are: Mr. Monkey, Mrs. Monkey and her baby, and a mirror toy. He loves mirrors. He always looks at himself and smiles. Its sweet. At this age they become very aware of their environment and can have issues processing everything. This is a reason for the “four month sleep regression”. He gets very over stimulated quickly right now. We found this out on Christmas…. * sigh *  I have some what figured out a “nap time” that works for us. I had many mommas suggest about every 2 hours try and sleep him. I had been trying this and failing every time. My husband was home the other day and wore Oliver a lot. While Oliver was being worn he would fall asleep about every 2 hours….. ah yes…. So, that’s how we are doing this. About every two hours I strap him on, and he is falling asleep. It really helps his moods and is helping him sleep through the night. I really hope this keeps working because he needs sleep!

Can I use this as a transition into why we won’t let him just cry it out to make naps work?  Thanks :)

I’ll start out by saying that I have always been fascinated with Psychology. When I started college I was a Psych major, loved it, would read my textbooks for fun. That transitioned into my love for sociology and the study of people and cultures as a whole.  I eventually changed my major to criminal justice, obviously, but accidently got a degree in sociology because I loved the curriculum so much I suddenly took all the classes for fun and was finished without realizing it! A great way to earn a degree! Anyways, this takes me to why we are choosing to parent the way we are. We lean towards Attachment Parenting. It’s a great theory that I am fully supportive of. When we make decisions with Oliver we don’t look at what our parents did, what our friends are doing, what is popular, or what is convenient. We looked at different parenting techniques as a whole, not  JUST the stuff popular in the United States.

What is working and why?

So, what we do might seem strange, unusual, or not practical to mainstream US parents. That’s fine. What we do is based on psychological studies, and research. We are confident in our decisions.

A great quote I read after becoming a parent was “Research everything and go with your instinct” Exactly. We won’t do anything just because we are told. I don’t care if it’s a doctor, an expert or who, we do what we think is best for our child.

(He really wants to crawl, he grabs onto anything and tries to move!) 

No matter how many people tell us to “just let him cry it out” we wont. Babies are not neurologically developed to “self sooth”. They are primal beings. Babies are way smarter then us, by the way. They act strictly on instincts; adults have so much that crowd their instincts. Babies do not have books to read to tell them how to be babies. That would be dumb. So, why do we read books on how to be parents? Social norms can then dictate what we do in parenting instead of our primal decision-making that is built into us when we have children. Babies do not know social norms, thus do not react in such ways. When they cry, there is a reason. I will respond to my child’s cry every time. I will soothe every cry. If you do not think this is correct then look at other cultures and the rates of sleep disorders, and anxiety disorders. Obviously, America is doing something VERY wrong. Other Cultures, moms wear their babies all the time. From the time they wake up (from their family bed), they are fed while worn and taken everywhere strapped to their moms. This is beautiful and I am glad America is catching on. This is not a “fad” it is the way of life for most cultures.

Touch is important. Some where along the line an American “expert” suggested that we can “spoil” our babies by holding them too much. No. We will “spoil” (which means wasting away) them by leaving them alone to fend for themselves. When this fad took over the states, babies that were institutionalized were left with no physical touch. None. Their “needs” were met but were never touched, or held. I’m sure they didn’t cry because they had given up, not because they were “self soothing”. Do you know what happened to the babies that were never held or shown love? They died. 100% of them died. This is a tragic mistake that was made. Those people did what they thought was best. We can learn so much from this history though. Touch and comfort is just as important as food and shelter. When you know better, you can do better.

(Mr. Money pictured) 

As a parent, it is our job to help our children adjust to this new world as easily as possible. That means when they get over whelmed you hold them, and you comfort them. That means when they cry, you listen, because they are communicating something. That means you help them discover the world, but you are close by to comfort when it becomes too much. That means: when they are hungry you feed them, when they are tired, you sleep them, when they want held, you hold them. If they sleep comfortably with you, you co sleep, and if they sleep comfortably in a crib, you allow them. Our parenting philosophy means you give your child respect, you listen to them and allow them to communicate their wants, desires and needs. They know what they need. 

I will not parent in a way that is just convenient for me, but damaging to my son.

( "Really?! Stop with the photos! Fine, one small grin, thats it!")

I will now make a confession. Last week I let him cry. I was frustrated. I couldn’t get him to sleep. For two hours, I would sleep him, lay him down, he would cry, I would comfort, sleep him, lay him down, he would cry. As this went on, I asked myself “why?”. Why do I think he has to sleep only in his crib? He is clearly getting more stressed by the min, my comfort was slowly becoming insufficient,  he wanted to sleep on me. Some day he wont want me at all.... and I thought about it, and there was no good reason why he couldn’t sleep on me. Not one. So I picked him up, held that baby and he went to sleep. I will not break that trust again. It was learning experience, and it didn’t feel right the whole time. At least not for my child’s personality or me. I understand EVERY baby is different and some need a few mins of alone time to stop from being stimulated, but that’s not my baby. There are also different types of cries, mommas know their babies, and know if it’s a fussy “I’m going to sleep cry” or “something isn’t ok cry”. My baby wants human touch, and that is what I will give him. Touch, and attachment is so important in this time in his life where he is developing so quickly. He needs that reassurance. This is why I am so beyond thankful that we are able to successfully breastfeed. I do nurse for the health aspect, but also for the development and attachment aspect. It is a bond that is unlike any other. I believe that breastfed babies should be with their mom’s as much as possible. We use minimal bottles so that we won’t break that bond. Nursing is as much about comfort as it is nutrition. I will be with my baby all the time, unless I can’t. I am looking for a job, and applied for a few so that will separate us. Our days together are numbered. Until then, I will be by his side as much as possible and if I am not available then my husband will be with him. The parental role right now is huge. We have the ability to be present so we will be.

This all may sound strange to some people, because we are taught that parents need constant “breaks”….I don’t completely agree. I do enjoy a meal with my husband without interruption every now and then, but that is sparingly. That doesn’t mean that I do not put my marriage first, it means it just might look different then what our culture says it should look like. Going out on “dates” are not the only way to put your marriage first. For us, it’s not very logical right now. It is expensive. I read a statement last week that said "if you are not going out with your spouse once a week then something is is a priority and this must change immediately" Yes, paying bills does take priority. I hate statements like this. That is NOT the only way to have a relationship. We can have a “date” after baby goes to bed. But, yes, for the record, my marriage absolutely comes first. That is biblical.

I am thankful for my husband, his desire to bond with our baby and as a family. We are bonding as a family now, and that will lay a strong foundation for Oliver’s future. We are doing our best to raise him. We do everything together. This is our life, we makes decisions together for our family and discuss everything. We have a very close marriage and want that to result in being close with our children. We want a home full of love, encouragement, and individuality. 

Moral of the story, we don’t belong in the United States, We are really weird, and never follow the “rules”.  I don't know if what I am doing is "right" but it is what works for this family. Do what works for your individual family. I just want to encourage Mom’s and Dad's to listen to their babies, respond with instincts, and don’t be afraid to love with all your heart. Every parent does his or her best. Every baby has different needs, and needs to be responded to differently. Just be the parent that your instincts tell you to be and don’t listen to anyone that tells you differently. 

(Glaring at me.... yikes... lol!)

Have a great week everyone!!