No Absolutes: Journey to Humility

I remember being a little teeny bopper, leading my own gender equality revolt in my bedroom, playing outside only if it was raining and there was mud, despising everything that was expected of me. Normal statements would be:

“I will NEVER get married. Who needs a man anyways?! I take care of myself, plus there are animals to keep me company.”

“I will NEVER have kids.”

“If I have kids, I will NEVER stay at home. EVER”

“A career will be my priority, not a family”

I remember a time my dad was having a “guys” night with some of my cousins at a baseball game, (I am like the only girl cousin) I cried and screamed how unfair it was that events like this were divided by gender and if I wanted to go I should be able to go! I shouldn’t be excluded because of my gender! Then I stormed to the bathroom and cried. Great way to prove a feminist point, get real emotional. (sarcasm) FYI. My dad let me go….

I don’t know what it is about my parents that they raised two very strong, independent, gender equality-seeking women. They are normal people. My mom stayed home, my dad worked. They never taught us this stuff. It was authentically engrained in me. I feel bad for them.

Life taught me many lessons along the way. One of the most humbling experiences came when I was 11. I experienced the feeling of true loss for the first time. Over and over again. I remember this shaking me to the core, changing my perspective, realizing the lack of control I had for my life, and teaching me nothing is permanent.

Then life began happening, I met a boy when I was 14 that I would marry right after high school. (Against the advice of many)

That “absolutely never EVER happening” was gone. I got married.

Then I found myself in the final semester of college, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, at my dream internship, on the fast track to the career I desired. Yet, I found myself on the bathroom floor, throwing up continuously from morning sickness.

That “absolutely never EVER happening” was gone. I was pregnant.

Then I found myself graduating college, pregnant, no job prospects (who wants to hire a prego?!) I was home. I was still. The lord forced me to just be still in his presence. I was learning I am a pawn in his plan. My sweet baby boy was born and I was a stay at home mom.

That “absolutely never EVER happening” was gone. I was a stay at home mom.

I now find myself looking and applying for jobs, and praying no mater what job I get, I will keep my family first.

That “absolutely never EVER happening” is leaving. My family will be my priority, not my job.

I sit here snuggling my 4 month old, and tears roll down my face thinking about the day I won’t wake up to his face every morning. The day I will spend more time at work then home. Parenting blogs say the most important gift you can give a child is time, and I know that will be rare in the career I am going into.

I look back at my “never, evers” and wonder what I was fighting so hard against. My “never evers” have turned into the biggest blessings of my life. Before Oliver was born I was mourning over not being able to jump into the work force and now I am mourning the opposite.

I used to wonder why mom's didn’t work, why they stayed at home. I see that now. The Lord obviously has different plans for me, but I get it. I get why mom’s stay at home.

This experience has opened my eyes to both worlds. I see the pain and hardships of staying at home and the pains and hardships of working outside the home. I get it. I want to be there for Oliver’s first steps, first words, watch him change everyday. I want to just be able to be there. That is my prayer for this new stage of life. That I will be present when I am home. That means finding balance in the unknown. That means balancing what I foresee as working nights, holidays, and weekends. Balancing a stressful career and raising babies. It’s possible, I know. It’s scary though.

The Lord is using this experience to refine me though, change my heart and strengthen my family.  Every “never ever” that was broken was a humbling, beautiful experience that taught me life happens. The Lord is in charge of my life. My future is already mapped out. He knows my every step along the way. I can’t live in fear of this change. The Lords plans never fail.  My tattoo on my wrist reminds me his plans are to prosper not to harm.

I still wear my heart on my sleeve, I am still probably too opinionated, I still have absolutes. This is my journey to humility. The Lord is teaching me though; there are no absolutes, except the Lord. He will absolutely always be in control and be present.

I ask for prayer as I’m going through the application processes, that the Lord will open doors or SLAM others. That interviewers will find favor to my application even though hundreds others are applying. Pray I listen to the Lords will.

Any mommas that balance work, school, and parenting etc. that want to give advice on how they balance everything, that would be amazing!

Love you all. Have a great week.

What O is doing and Crying it Out

(Mrs. Monkey and her baby in hand ;) )

Oliver is growing like a weed right now. It’s so great to watch. All of his clothes are getting tight and I feel like we just moved up a size! This is such a great “problem” to have. He is fun, laughs, screams, giggles, mimics and makes faces. He is rolling everywhere now. Some days he refuses to stay still and just rolls until something stops him. He is getting so strong and starting to love his Johnny Jump Up.

Our favorite toys this week are: Mr. Monkey, Mrs. Monkey and her baby, and a mirror toy. He loves mirrors. He always looks at himself and smiles. Its sweet. At this age they become very aware of their environment and can have issues processing everything. This is a reason for the “four month sleep regression”. He gets very over stimulated quickly right now. We found this out on Christmas…. * sigh *  I have some what figured out a “nap time” that works for us. I had many mommas suggest about every 2 hours try and sleep him. I had been trying this and failing every time. My husband was home the other day and wore Oliver a lot. While Oliver was being worn he would fall asleep about every 2 hours….. ah yes…. So, that’s how we are doing this. About every two hours I strap him on, and he is falling asleep. It really helps his moods and is helping him sleep through the night. I really hope this keeps working because he needs sleep!

Can I use this as a transition into why we won’t let him just cry it out to make naps work?  Thanks :)

I’ll start out by saying that I have always been fascinated with Psychology. When I started college I was a Psych major, loved it, would read my textbooks for fun. That transitioned into my love for sociology and the study of people and cultures as a whole.  I eventually changed my major to criminal justice, obviously, but accidently got a degree in sociology because I loved the curriculum so much I suddenly took all the classes for fun and was finished without realizing it! A great way to earn a degree! Anyways, this takes me to why we are choosing to parent the way we are. We lean towards Attachment Parenting. It’s a great theory that I am fully supportive of. When we make decisions with Oliver we don’t look at what our parents did, what our friends are doing, what is popular, or what is convenient. We looked at different parenting techniques as a whole, not  JUST the stuff popular in the United States.

What is working and why?

So, what we do might seem strange, unusual, or not practical to mainstream US parents. That’s fine. What we do is based on psychological studies, and research. We are confident in our decisions.

A great quote I read after becoming a parent was “Research everything and go with your instinct” Exactly. We won’t do anything just because we are told. I don’t care if it’s a doctor, an expert or who, we do what we think is best for our child.

(He really wants to crawl, he grabs onto anything and tries to move!) 

No matter how many people tell us to “just let him cry it out” we wont. Babies are not neurologically developed to “self sooth”. They are primal beings. Babies are way smarter then us, by the way. They act strictly on instincts; adults have so much that crowd their instincts. Babies do not have books to read to tell them how to be babies. That would be dumb. So, why do we read books on how to be parents? Social norms can then dictate what we do in parenting instead of our primal decision-making that is built into us when we have children. Babies do not know social norms, thus do not react in such ways. When they cry, there is a reason. I will respond to my child’s cry every time. I will soothe every cry. If you do not think this is correct then look at other cultures and the rates of sleep disorders, and anxiety disorders. Obviously, America is doing something VERY wrong. Other Cultures, moms wear their babies all the time. From the time they wake up (from their family bed), they are fed while worn and taken everywhere strapped to their moms. This is beautiful and I am glad America is catching on. This is not a “fad” it is the way of life for most cultures.

Touch is important. Some where along the line an American “expert” suggested that we can “spoil” our babies by holding them too much. No. We will “spoil” (which means wasting away) them by leaving them alone to fend for themselves. When this fad took over the states, babies that were institutionalized were left with no physical touch. None. Their “needs” were met but were never touched, or held. I’m sure they didn’t cry because they had given up, not because they were “self soothing”. Do you know what happened to the babies that were never held or shown love? They died. 100% of them died. This is a tragic mistake that was made. Those people did what they thought was best. We can learn so much from this history though. Touch and comfort is just as important as food and shelter. When you know better, you can do better.

(Mr. Money pictured) 

As a parent, it is our job to help our children adjust to this new world as easily as possible. That means when they get over whelmed you hold them, and you comfort them. That means when they cry, you listen, because they are communicating something. That means you help them discover the world, but you are close by to comfort when it becomes too much. That means: when they are hungry you feed them, when they are tired, you sleep them, when they want held, you hold them. If they sleep comfortably with you, you co sleep, and if they sleep comfortably in a crib, you allow them. Our parenting philosophy means you give your child respect, you listen to them and allow them to communicate their wants, desires and needs. They know what they need. 

I will not parent in a way that is just convenient for me, but damaging to my son.

( "Really?! Stop with the photos! Fine, one small grin, thats it!")

I will now make a confession. Last week I let him cry. I was frustrated. I couldn’t get him to sleep. For two hours, I would sleep him, lay him down, he would cry, I would comfort, sleep him, lay him down, he would cry. As this went on, I asked myself “why?”. Why do I think he has to sleep only in his crib? He is clearly getting more stressed by the min, my comfort was slowly becoming insufficient,  he wanted to sleep on me. Some day he wont want me at all.... and I thought about it, and there was no good reason why he couldn’t sleep on me. Not one. So I picked him up, held that baby and he went to sleep. I will not break that trust again. It was learning experience, and it didn’t feel right the whole time. At least not for my child’s personality or me. I understand EVERY baby is different and some need a few mins of alone time to stop from being stimulated, but that’s not my baby. There are also different types of cries, mommas know their babies, and know if it’s a fussy “I’m going to sleep cry” or “something isn’t ok cry”. My baby wants human touch, and that is what I will give him. Touch, and attachment is so important in this time in his life where he is developing so quickly. He needs that reassurance. This is why I am so beyond thankful that we are able to successfully breastfeed. I do nurse for the health aspect, but also for the development and attachment aspect. It is a bond that is unlike any other. I believe that breastfed babies should be with their mom’s as much as possible. We use minimal bottles so that we won’t break that bond. Nursing is as much about comfort as it is nutrition. I will be with my baby all the time, unless I can’t. I am looking for a job, and applied for a few so that will separate us. Our days together are numbered. Until then, I will be by his side as much as possible and if I am not available then my husband will be with him. The parental role right now is huge. We have the ability to be present so we will be.

This all may sound strange to some people, because we are taught that parents need constant “breaks”….I don’t completely agree. I do enjoy a meal with my husband without interruption every now and then, but that is sparingly. That doesn’t mean that I do not put my marriage first, it means it just might look different then what our culture says it should look like. Going out on “dates” are not the only way to put your marriage first. For us, it’s not very logical right now. It is expensive. I read a statement last week that said "if you are not going out with your spouse once a week then something is is a priority and this must change immediately" Yes, paying bills does take priority. I hate statements like this. That is NOT the only way to have a relationship. We can have a “date” after baby goes to bed. But, yes, for the record, my marriage absolutely comes first. That is biblical.

I am thankful for my husband, his desire to bond with our baby and as a family. We are bonding as a family now, and that will lay a strong foundation for Oliver’s future. We are doing our best to raise him. We do everything together. This is our life, we makes decisions together for our family and discuss everything. We have a very close marriage and want that to result in being close with our children. We want a home full of love, encouragement, and individuality. 

Moral of the story, we don’t belong in the United States, We are really weird, and never follow the “rules”.  I don't know if what I am doing is "right" but it is what works for this family. Do what works for your individual family. I just want to encourage Mom’s and Dad's to listen to their babies, respond with instincts, and don’t be afraid to love with all your heart. Every parent does his or her best. Every baby has different needs, and needs to be responded to differently. Just be the parent that your instincts tell you to be and don’t listen to anyone that tells you differently. 

(Glaring at me.... yikes... lol!)

Have a great week everyone!! 

Why My Hair Hurts: Reality of Staying at Home

My head. It hurts. My hair. It hurts. Why you ask? Let me explain....

My husband keeps complaining about my hair. It’s falling out like crazy. (Losing all those glorious pregnancy hormones) So, I decided to DIY a deep hair conditioner to see if it would help. Dumb.

My baby, as much as I love him, is very demanding and needy. I still thought I could accomplish this one task. I look up recipes on the computer while simultaneously bouncing baby with my foot in his bouncy.

Boom, found an easy one with stuff I have in my kitchen. Baby continues to fuss while I mix equal parts of honey and oil. Dang coconut oil is a solid though. Idea: Heat in microwave for a min.

Baby cries.

I comfort baby while my glorious mixture heats. Baby comforted. I grab my mixture and run to the bathroom to spread this in my hair. I have maybe 30 seconds before the crying commences.

Dang this mixture feels hot.

Baby cries.

Ok, hurry, hurry, pour and go. I stand over the bathtub and poor this liquid goodness over my hair. Ouch. Ouch. I think it’s burning my scalp. Who would know, who has time to feel, all I hear is screaming baby. But dang, the honey is like welding onto my scalp. Oh well, get to baby. I wrap my hair up and run back to baby in 30 seconds flat. Bam. Task succeeded. Now, just wait 30 mins and rinse.

 Baby fusses, baby eats, baby wants to play but I have to stay close so he can see me.

Oh wait, I still haven’t eaten today.

Crap. Nursing and starving yourself do not go well together. Baby is happy, time to eat some calories. Doesn’t matter much what it is, just need calories. Bam, done.

Baby cries.

Nap time. (AKA: me sitting on the couch, holding baby, looking at the war zone of the house I have, without the ability to move)

Baby sleeps.

Phone rings, husbands off work. Baby wakes and eats. My head. It’s stuck. Stuck to the pillow. Why?

Crap. It’s the honey. It’s the “deep conditioner”. Crap. It’s been almost four hours. It was only supposed to be in 30 mins. Crap. I forgot.

Husband walks in the door and goes to the bathroom to wash his hands…. He then returns asking what the heck went on in the bathroom because it is very sticky….

Ughhhhhhhh……….about that.

I hand baby to the hubs and jump in the shower to remove this brilliant idea from my hair. I scrub and scrub. Jump out of the shower.

Baby cries. Hurry, hurry, hurry.

I come out of the shower, and get a side ways look from my husband as he asks me why my hair is standing out so stiff…..

UGHHHHH. I hate my life. (Just kidding)

After baby fights sleep that night, I get back into the shower to remove the honey that is stuck onto my head. Why did I ever try and do this while taking care of Ollie…

Why.

Second shower and wash and my hair is feeling less stiff and more soft. It worked. Yay. I now go to bed.

I wake up…. Ouch. Oh, ouch. My scalp. It hurts. It feels burnt. That’s because it is. That hot honey and oil mixture that I poured ever so quickly on my scalp was so hot. I ignored it but now I feel it. I feel every hair on my head. It doesn’t feel nice at all. My hair does feel softer, but my scalp feels like it is on fire……

All you can do is laugh. Please laugh with me. Please? :) 

So, moral of the story, Don’t try and do anything while taking care of a needy baby. You will end up with a burnt head, and sticky hair.

Have a Happy New Year All!! 

Meal Planning on a Tight Budget

I hope you all had a great Christmas! We sure did! Ollie had a great time with all our extended family and meeting some of them for the first time! We also got to play in the snow for the first time! So fun!

Meal planning got a lot of attention in my last post! Who knew people would be so intrigued?! A lot of people asked for me to elaborate... so here we go!  Meal planning comes second nature to me. It's hard for me to explain how I do it, I just do. I don't understand how one would grocery shop without meal planning? Like, what do you buy? Serious question.

So, I decided to post about our budget and our meal plan this month! Here are a few tips on how we keep our grocery budget down.

*** We eat as healthy as our budget allows. We believe in a whole foods, organic diet... but we have caviare taste on a hot dog budget. You make it work. You do the best you can. ***

1. Shop At Aldi.
Alid's allows us to get WAY more for our money and still eat whole foods. Especially with their new Organic and Simply Nature line. It makes eating very affordable for us.

2. Minimal Fresh Fruit, Veggies, Dairy and Meat
Fresh produce is expensive. Don't get me wrong I LOVE fresh produce. Drop me in the middle of Fresh Markets organic produce section and instant relaxation. Its my happy place. I could just camp out in the sea of organic veggies.....BUT our budget does not allow for a ton of fresh produce. We replace as much fresh produce as we can with frozen. Its cheaper and does not go bad. I am allergic to dairy so the only dairy we buy is cheese and we make sure at least 50% of our meals are vegetarian. To replace buying cows milk, we buy almond milk. Almond milk has a longer shelf life than cows milk anyways. Every meal will include protein, it just might be in the form of beans which are cheap.

3. Minimal trips to the store
I used to shop for the whole month in one trip. When you are working its the easiest. Now that I am at home we go twice a month. This WILL reduce your budget. Use what you have in your home. The more trips you make to the store the more you will spend. Simple as that.


4. Get Organized
Write your meal plan, write your grocery list, and stick to it. Do not allow anything in your cart that was not written down. Use self control. Do not let promos and advertising allow you to go out of budget. I write my lists, organize them by isle/type of food, what ever works. The more organized you are the better chance you have to succeed.

5. Use Cash and Bring a Calculator
Here's where you get serious. We run a cash budget. We don't like debt. We are in debt and it sucks. Hopefully, one day we can live debt free. We are huge believers in living within your means. We pay cash for everything possible. Our goal is to have no mortgage, car payments or student loans one day. So, bring your grocery budget money in cash to the grocery store. Get our your phone or calculator and add up everything while going down the isle. When you hit your max, stop. If you don't have everything you "need" then prioritize. "Need" is such an over used term in our culture.

6. Don't Buy Pre-Packaged Food
Super expensive. Super bad for you. Don't do it.

7. Stock the Freezer Not the Fridge.
Some days you will look in our fridge and it will appear we have no food. Usually, we do, it is just all in the freezer. This takes planning but helps prevent throwing away food and wasting food. We freeze things that people don't always think of... like bread, chopped up fresh veggies (onion and peppers), tortillas, all the cheese we buy... ext. We just thaw when those items are needed.

So, thats the basics of how we make this work. Does it always work? Of course not, but we try our hardest.

This is what it looks like in real life for us:

We have a monthly budget of $200 (or $50 a week) for groceries in our home. I meal plan about 15 recipes per trip. These 15 recipes will provide at least 30 meals for us. (Not including breakfast and snacks) That makes each meal about $3.33 which is $1.66 per person. Here are the meals for this grocery trip and we can break it down a little more:

1. Cuban Rice and Beans with Rice and Avocado (v)
2. Ham and Beans with Corn Bread
3. Sloppy Joes and Homemade Chips (Pioneer Women)
4. Spaghetti  (v)
5. Broccoli Ham and Cheese Potatoes
6. Cheese Enchiladas (v)
7. Turkey Pot Pie
8. Stir Fry (v)
9. Veggie and Ham Scramble with Biscuits
10. Beef Stew (Iowa Girl Eats)
11. Tomato Soup with Grilled Cheese (v)
12. Veggies Pizza (v)
13. Penne a la Vodka (v)
14. Cheesy Taco Soup
15. Bean Burritos (v) (Homemade "refried" beans)

***(v) = vegetarian***

***Breakfast will include Oatmeal or Cereal.***

54% of our meals are vegetarian this time. Let me explain, we have leftovers that were given to us from the holidays and froze them. The left over ham and turkey will serve as additions to these meals. If it weren't for these, there would be less meat featured. So, we actually only bought hamburger meat and stew meat on this trip. We also had a TON of pinto beans and rice given to us so that helps our meals stretch a little further.

We went to Aldi's today and Spent $103.00 of our $200 budget. We will stretch it and make it last as long as possible. At least two weeks. I can get pretty creative though and sometimes make it stretch longer. Any money that we don't use in our cash grocery budget for the month gets put into savings. This is a HUGE incentive to make it last! Save where you can!

Some day when we are not on such a tight budget I want to include local meat and raw dairy to our diet. Until then, we will continue to meal plan this way.

There you go! Hope it helps! Enjoy your future meal planning :)

How we survived our first cold (Naturally)…. And O Update

First, I want to say how very, very blessed we are to have a very healthy child. We have not had to face any REAL health issues with Oliver and I know that. I am SO grateful. It is a true blessing to have a healthy child. Not a day goes by that I am not thankful for that.

That being said, it is super sad still when your little gets sick. Ollie wasn’t even THAT sick. He was congested, sneezy, watery eyes, you know, typical cold symptoms. No fever, not that I think fevers are BAD per say, but it’s just something we didn’t have to deal with. It’s just sad to watch a little baby get even a little sick! 

So, by now, you know I’m definitely from a different breed of humans. I love nutrition, REAL foods, Essential oils, natural remedies, Weston A Price diet, things that have stood the test of time. By NO means am I against modern medicine. I love that it is available but it is NOT my number one go to. It’s just not. When O got sick the first thing I did was eat raw garlic cloves, not call the doctor. Now, if he would of gotten REALLY sick, I would have called a doctor. It’s all about balance, ya know?

So, What we did to fight his first little, baby cold. I may have gone over board, but I’m a first time mommy, judge me.

1.     Breastfeed like crazy!
This comes in really handy when your kids sick! Anything I put in my body, Ollie gets. Gods perfect design.

2.     Echinacea supplements and tea

3.     Green tea

4.     Garlic tonic on Ollie’s feet while he slept

5.     Cold mist humidifier

6.      Put his crib up a little to help his breathing

7.     Lots of Vit C

8.     I ate 3 raw garlic cloves. (hello, good breath)

9.     Elderberry blend tea

10. Made sure we both got plenty of sleep, fluids and that my diet was spot on.

11. Made sure he got his probiotic everyday***

***Since we had a C-Section our Chiro recommended this probiotic for Ollie to take. He didn’t get the good bacteria from a natural birth, so we supplement with a probiotic.

Whew, we survied and it passed super quick. One day of grumps, then it was over. A little congestion left but you can tell he feels fine. Breastfeeding rocks, just saying. Little O was a champ and this cold will really help build his immune system for further illness we come across, so it was a huge blessing that he got to fight it!

Oliver Update:

Oliver is doing amazing. We had his lip tie reversed on Tuesday. It went great. We waited two months for this appointment that took 20 mins. Not. Kidding. We went in, the doctor explained his technique. (which was exactly the way I had research and decided I wanted it done) I wanted NO anesthesia, and I wanted it done with heat/laser NOT the standard scalpel. They gave him a little shot in the gum, cut that part of his lip and it was done! I held him, we went home and he never acted like it bothered him. Which is exactly why I wanted it done with the heat. It seals it immediately and should be no pain.

Eating: The lip takes about a week to heal. This was our final “solution”. I’m not sure yet if it has helped. We do have some 1 ½ hour stretches now, which are AMAZING! It feels like an eternity. Today, for the first time we went THREE hours between a feeding. It was insane. We get to play more and have fun. He is not eating as long either. That is the huge thing I notice. He is only eating for a couple mins then done. So, I think he does not have to work as hard to eat. Which is great. I am wondering if things will start to even out soon. I really do feel like it has made things easier for him though, which is all I wanted. I don’t care if he eats all the time, as long as it’s easier for him. I am just glad it is all done! Such a simple, simple, thing we had to wait so long for!

Favs of this week: He has been laughing so much. It has been so much fun. He is also working really hard on rolling from back to tummy. He talks all the time. He is just a TON of fun right now! 

Ollie is super excited for Christmas! He gets to meet two great aunts for the first time! We get to spend lots of time together with family!

We hope you all have a wonderful Christmas as well! 

Saving Money and Blessings

       
     Top Five ways we save money......


      1. Meal Plan

Meal planning is the number one way we save money. Meal planning is definitely my thing. Not to brag, but I am really good at it.  Somewhere deeply engrained in my is this amazing ability to meal plan and make grocery lists in no time flat…. What an exciting talent… lol

By meal planning I have got it down to about an average of $1.50 per meal for us. We do not waste food. Throwing away food makes me ridiculously sad. There are tons of people that need that food and I hate seeing it go to waste. We try and use all of what we buy. For example: we bought a turkey while it was on sale for thanksgiving. We used the meat for about 10 different meals, used the bones for bone broth and the dogs got the fat. Nothing went to waste.

We buy only from Aldi’s right now. We try and make everything from scratch. Processed foods are more expensive. Yes, making everything takes more time but it is SO much healthier and better for your budget.

We don’t buy much meat unless it is on sale. Meat is expensive and I would prefer to only have organic grass-fed meat so we just don’t buy it most of the time.

2. Don’t buy household cleaners

I make all of our cleaners. Pretty much vinegar, baking soda, vodka, and EVO is all I really need for ALL of our cleaners. These are cheap and I always have them on hand. They are not toxic, and really inexpensive.

I also stopped “washing” my hair about a year ago…..  I have had more compliments on my hair since I started this. I have really fallen in love with organix coconut milk shampoo SO every now and then I splurge and wash my hair.
* You can laugh, its ok *

3. Clothe Diaper/ Homemade Wipes 

We clothe Diaper. We decided on the Grovia brand and LOVE it so far. Such a money saver. Seriously. They are so easy too. If people knew how easy they were, I really think more people would do them. We have started using disposables at night though. (Quicker for our baby who has quite the temper at night)

I make our wipes. I use high quality paper towels (VIVA!!!! Shout out sister friends if your reading this) I make a mixture of water, coconut oil, and a natural bath soap. Easy! Plus, no chemicals on the booty. 

4. Call companies to reduce bills

We have recently reduced our Internet bill, trash bill, and home and car INS.  Some we switched to other companies, some we just said we were going to cancel and they reduced the monthly payment.

5. No Cable/Cut wasteful spending

      Cable is a waste of money for us. Some day maybe it wont be… but at this stage of life it is. We have Netflix, and hulu. We are good to go. Anything else you can pretty much just stream with Internet.

      Everyone has wasteful spending somewhere usually. Our weakness is eating out. We love the local Thai place and Mediterranean place down the street.  They are local so we love to support them. We just make it treat rather then a weekly occurrence.

Top 5 ways living on a small budget is a blessing.

1.  Humility

      You can’t always go out with friends, or buy what you want. Paying bills is your number one priority.  When people offer help sometimes you have to be humble and accept it. No matter how hard it is to do. Things won’t always be hard. Some day they will be better and you can offer your help to others that are going through a hard time. I have such a heart for giving now being in this situation. I can’t wait to pay it forward some day. Right now I can’t do a lot, but If I see something I can help with, I jump to it.

       2. Gratitude 

      You become thankful for the little things. Like a heater, food in the fridge, time with family. The important things. 

3.   Shows you Gods character 

      No matter what, the Lord will take care of you. It teaches you to rely fully on him not on materialistic things. I know that’s why we are in this season of life right now. The lord is teaching, moving and changing us into better people. I pray everyone has a season of life they live pay check to pay check. It has been an amazing growth experience. 

4. Teaches you to enjoy the little things 

      We cant afford traditional date nights, but we can afford Netflix and cheese its. We can afford a box of wine to enjoy every now and then. I love our simple life. 

5.  Helps you focus on relationships

We aren’t focused on all the things that can cloud your world. We are able to focus on our little family, on our relationships and enjoy each other. 

Dakota and I have agreed we NEVER want a lot of money. It would be nice to not live on SUCH a tight budget, to be able to take Oliver on vacations when we are older, stuff like that, but we never want a lot of money. We want a simple life, simple home, simple things. I would love to have enough money to bless others like we have been blessed. Someday, maybe, if not its not a big deal to us. We are blessed in other ways.

I love our little 800 sq ft house, I love our little garden out back, I love our simple little life. We are SO blessed. 

I will send you with a picture of our dear son, since I'm sure you have not seen enough of him :) 

Merry Christmas!! 

Baby O and Job Update

O Update:

Baby O is doing so great. Some things we love right now:

1.     Having our diaper change is about the most fun we have all day. We laugh and giggle… He sure does love his changing pad. Weird kid!

2.     We like to zurburt (No idea how to spell that, but you know, the vibrating with the lips thing) back at people now. I’ll make the CRAZY noise, his eyes will get huge, then he will try and do it back. It’s pretty great.

3.     We are grasping toys and bringing them to our mouth. We are not very coordinated yet, and usually end up smacking our self in the head : ( poor kid. Still working on that hand eye coordination.

4.     We love Mr. Monkey still and hanging out with daddy!

   We are very animated…. Our face tells a whole story about what we are thinking. I love the many expressions he makes.....

My favorite thing this week: The other day O woke up, looked at me and squealed.  It was the sweetest thing. He was so excited to see me. It pretty much melted my heart.

Nursing is still super challenging. Last week I was having a super rough and discouraging day. I took maybe 10 min breaks of not nursing every hour. It was rough. I was just crying out to the Lord. “I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE”. Everyone says once you get passed the first couple weeks of nursing it gets soooo much easier. Not for us. I talked to the THIRD lactation specialist who also said “Can’t believe you are still trying to do this and have been nursing that often for three months…” Well… what other option do I have?! I am in this far, It better work! I have a friend that had a huge desire to nurse and wasn’t able too. She told me about working all day to pump just the littlest amount to go along with his formula. That is super inspiring to me. I will keep doing this. Only a few more weeks until we get the lip tie looked at. I have hopes that this will really help things, but I’m scared it won’t. It is our last resort to make this “easier” and if it doesn’t, oh well. This is our story. 

After my discouraging day I got out of the house for the first time in awhile. I don’t go out a lot because it is just really hard with his nursing schedule right now. It was amazing because he went two hours between a feeding, which NEVER happens, and as I was nursing him in public a women out of nowhere said words of encouragement to me. It was a blessing. The Lord was really encouraging. We nurse a lot at home and O always scratches my back! Lol! I always feel it is his little way to say  “Be patient with me mom, I’m not very good at this” I love the reminder, and I really enjoy this season of life. It is just a season. I will miss our time so much when he is moving out of the house and starting his own life. I will never regret the days I spent sitting with him. 

( See, very animated. You can tell he is annoyed...) 

He still HATES being sat down. He just loves to do what I am doing. Baby wearing is GREAT! Still with wearing him, you can’t stand still! That’s a NO NO with O. We are always moving and looking or it is not good! The other day though, I got 30 mins where I wasn’t holding him! (That was with rotating him from Bumbo, bouncy, and swing every 5 mins, but still!!!) I got the dishes done and folded some laundry!! Amazing! He gets bored really easy…. What will he be like as a toddler?!?!

He still refuses to nap unless I am holding him or lying with him. He has like this 6^th sense where he KNOWS as SOON as I leave the room….. Creepy! As soon as I get up to leave he opens his eyes and stares at me….. If I keep walking he screams bloody murder. So, we “nap” together.

(muahahhaha my favorite face O has made so far)

I was reading one of my favorite bloggers today who was talking about her son’s schedule. He is a month older then O. He took FOUR separate naps during the day, in his room, played for an hour on the floor ALONE, and was asleep by 7, and only gets up once or twice…… that was a hard day for him she said… Wowzers……. What I would do with just ONE nap time!!!! It’s all about perspective, right?! 

Job Update:

We officially set the job search/ time to get serious date. It begins this weekend. Kot is taking O for a little bit so I can work on my application. Prayers would be appreciated. I’m super emotional about leaving O. I worry about him not having one of his parents around to raise him. I know parents do it all the time and do an amazing job. I just can’t get a good “idea” of what this will look like. I don’t know how to work and be a mom. It is definitely unknown territory. My mom always stayed home with us.  That’s the picture of a mom that I have in my mind. I don’t know how to change the way I think to picture a working mom… (If that makes any sense) I am just super nervous about it. Prayers PLEASE! Also, somehow I have to find time to run at least 5 times a weeks. Which, from reading about our schedule above, you can see is a huge challenge. God is bigger than this circumstance though! Financial something has to change quickly…… It is a constant worry and stress in our home. Dakota works sun up to sun down, plus some, and weekends. He doesn’t get to see Ollie very much. Sometimes just 30 mins a day. He leaves before O gets up and gets home around bed time. I know it is hard on him. Hopefully something will change soon….and mathematically we shouldn't be able to pay our bills…. Somehow the Lord always provides just enough. Which is all we need…..

(Daddy photo bomb)

Things are going great though!!! Yet, change is on the horizon …. I am just like my daddy and HATE change. Praying the Lord will bring peace. 

(Go Broncos)